I appear to be considerably better than you

It's one of those sad truisms that people are judged by the jobs they do. We all come with preconceptions about what kind of person does a particular kind of job, but sometimes these are so ingrained into people that they stop thinking of you as a person and more as an idea; they build you into a thing that fits their comfortable little world and refuse to acknowledge you as anything other than that even when you shatter their sad little illusions.

One of the worst types of people for this are those who are 'students of the law' and assume - as a worker in an administrative position - that you:

(a) have no idea about anything legal and
(b) are inferior to them

Curiously enough we have a few admin workers who are law graduates themselves, which leads me to wonder if they were ever the type to call up complaining and claiming to be 'students of the law'.

Those who go on to make something of their degrees - typically ending up as solicitors - usually retain the notion that admin staff (and most other people, for that matter) are inferior beings. In my mind I mock them through word play, reminding myself that - as solicitors - they must spend their days soliciting (though who would pay to sleep with some of them is a thought not worth pursuing).

But back to students of the law. There's no good way to deal with people who make a point of 'knowing the law' and quoting line after line of irrelevant pseudo-legal nonsense. I like to throw them the odd curve ball, play them at their own game and see how they like it. Usually it riles them up more and I have to excuse myself so I can walk around the corner and stifle my giggles. A typical conversation might go like this:

Me: Hello there, how can I help you?
Student of the law: I need to look at my file from when I was in two months ago.
Me: Right, why do you want to look at it?
SOTL: Listen here, I'm a student of the law and I'm entitled to look at documents relating to myself and you trying to stop me is a violation of my human rights as defined by the Geneva Convention, so you need to give me access to them.
Me: I'm not trying to stop you, I'm simply asking why you need them.
SOTL: Why I need them is none of your concern, I'm protected by the Data Protection Act and all you need to know is that they're my documents and I want to look at them, so you need to go get them.
Me: The reason I ask, sir (I make a point of being extremely polite at this stage) is because we're not a court of records and so we're not obliged to provide a copy of your file to you without a valid reason. So I need you to put your request in writing, along with a valid reason, so I can pass it on to the relevant person to deal with. They'll look it over and decide whether or not you're entitled to look at the file.
SOTL: (getting very irate) Unlike you I've studied the law and you're trying to illegally block me from accessing my data. I demand that you give me my documents now or I will file an action against you that will mean you have to give me what I want and you'll suffer the full consequences of the law for blocking me.
Me: You're on the verge of causing a Section 4 Public Order Act offence and I'm going to have to ask you to calm down and put your request in writing. As I said, if you do that I can pass it on to the relevant person and they'll see if you're entitled to the documents you're after.

The last part of this conversation is usually repeated several times over until, frustrated, they either leave, ask to speak to a manager (who tells them what I've just told them) or put their request in writing and we do exactly what I said should be done from the start.

You might be a student of the law, I'm steeped in the nuances of bureaucracy. Guess which one invariably wins?